Albert Schulz
Butler Quarters
2700 Pacific Coast Highway
Signal Hill, CA 90805
Our dear Albie,
I regret to inform you that we will no longer be requiring your services as butler to our estate located at 2700 Pacific Coast Highway, Signal Hill, CA. Please remove your personal effects from the butler’s quarters immediately. All items left remaining in the quarters by 6 PM this evening will be sold, with the proceeds applied to your outstanding rent. Please provide a forwarding address to bill any remaining deficiency.
Should you seek the position of butler at another house, we would be pleased to serve as a personal reference. However, we would be obligated to mention the small kitchen fire, the DUI and the unfortunate episode involving you, our dog groomer, and the Center for Disease Control. We likely will not mention the disappearance of the six bottles of scotch from the pantry, as there remains a possibility, though slight, that these items spontaneously combusted as you insist.
What a sad day for the manor! Your days here, however short, filled the halls with laughter and song, however slurred and incomprehensible. For that you will truly be missed.
Best,
