Archive for Canyon: How Long?

Happy 2009

Inspired by Brody Jenner’s Bromance and Sarah’s challenge, the editors of Nature’s Television hope you enjoy this New Years Eve “broast”.  Replace your champagne toast at midnight tonight with this gem, and you are sure to receive several bro hugs.  Good luck, and you’re welcome.

“Fuck, man.  Fuck.  You guys are my boys.  I fuckin’ love you guys so much.  No, but seriously, fuck, shit.  I dont know why I’m even cryin’.  Michelle, quit ya-self, I’m givin’ a broast here.  I’ve only cried three times in my life ’til now:  When my cat Florida had kittens, when I got into FSU and the second time I saw La Bamba.  Fuck, man.  You guys mean so much to me, man.  You’re my boys…even though some of you are chicks.  (Howl!)  No, but seriously.  I mean this seriously. Shhhh, shut up, Michelle.  Shut your fuckin’ mouth, I’m givin’ a broast.  Happy 2009!  I fuckin’ love you guys.  No, but seriously, if anyone tries to start something with you, I’ll cut them down.  I will hunt that motha fucka and curb his ass.  Michelle, fuckin’ shut it!  I fuckin’ love you guys.  Here’s to gettin’ some in 2009!  Two Thousand and Fuckin’ Nine!”

Happy New Years!

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Found Photo

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Semi-Psychic Roommate

A:  Guess who I saw at the Bristol Farms on Beverly.  20 questions.

J:  Okay.  Male or female?

A:  Female.

J:  TV or Movies?

A:  Neither.

J:  Music?

A:  Yes.

J:  Does she have kids?

A:  No idea.

J:  Is it Cindy Lauper?

A:  No.

J:  Is it Toni Basil?

A:  Yes.  Wow.

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On American Idol’s “Little Man Tate”

Person 1: Has David Archuleta gotten his period yet?

Person 2: Nope.

Person 1: Fair enough. 

 

 

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How long have you been in the canyon?

Person 1: How long have you been in the canyon?

Person 2: Since Thursday.

Person 1: Right on.

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